Little Gods

 

“You shall have no other gods before me” ~ Exodus 20:2

What matters the most to you in life? …….Is it your career, cars, clothes, financial status; being the “top dog”? How about God? Does He fit somewhere in your life? Maybe in the shadows and everything else seems to overtake his presence.

There’s a battle I’m fighting and it’s between good & evil, so let me explain.. I have what most Americans want…. A steady job, benefits, money to pay my bills, a roof over my head, you name it!  One of my goals has been to get out of my current full time job which has been supporting me going on 5 years. I went back to school to get my Esthetician license in hopes of starting a new career in something that brought me joy. Now with trying to start a new career what does that come with? Sacrifice! I’m currently working a full time job along with part time job at a day spa. My work schedule is pretty hectic to say the least and for the past 6 months I work 15 days straight only to get one full day off of both jobs. It’s been a challenge! I have to pray for strength and motivation daily because all that’s within me wants to give up. My main focus throughout this whole process was to build up clientele to shift out of my current job and pay off debt I accrued being a knucklehead!  There is one thing I have gained within the whole process and that’s a God, and I’m not talking about the God in heaven whom I believe in. Let me help you understand. I have become accustomed to having lots of money, money to shop, and money to blow on whatever.  Money has become a mini God in my life and I am having a hard time living without it. There has been some positive things which has came from having money, I finally have a savings account and have been able to pay off some of my debt but its become a hindrance because I am sacrificing all my time, family and relationships to have this money. I am having a hard time letting go and realizing it isn’t everything. I think about Francis Chan preaching about how we are so focused on “security” and our future rather than relying on God and having faith knowing he will take care of our every need.

I’ve been praying for guidance but am I really ready to listen to God? I literally have to ask myself this question. With working 2 jobs, I virtually have no time for anyone or anything. Fitting things in my schedule is horrible and has become so stressful. I think back now and I took “time” for granted. I don’t have time to get off work and read a book, go to my parents for dinner, and hang out with friends as a spur of the moment thing. Everything has to be strategically planned out on a night I have off. Even though I want all of this so bad, I think of going back to struggling only working one job and not having the money I have now. It’s sad how money can become a literal “God” in your life. It has become mine and I’m just being honest. I’m sacrificing time in my life for money- rather than my initial intension of paying off debt and shifting into another job.

Now this is all coming down to one thing…. I don’t want to live for anything but GOD.. Not money, not my career, not possessions.. I want to live my life for God and God alone. I want to know I have enough strength to be completely broke and know as long as I have God that’s all the matters. I woke up and read in Proverbs and knew without question it was God speaking to me…

“Keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you” ~Proverbs 30:8-9

I know I am distant from God, not that he is far from me but I am far from Him! I haven’t prayed like I used to, I haven’t worshiped like I used to, I haven’t sacrificed time like I used to for Him. What a shameful thing to admit but I’m human and fail. It’s time to make some changes and that comes with making sure God is first in my life, not money, jobs, or any relationships. I want to know when I get to heaven and stand before God I am content knowing that my relationship with him came before anything and everything!

So I have to ask you this question, what do you worship? What are you placing before God?  We weren’t made to worship anything but Him!

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only those who do the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!”

 ~ Matthew 7:21-23