My Angel

Do you believe in angels? Do they only exist in Heaven? What about on earth?

Here is a story of an angel appearing in front of me in human flesh.

As I have shared, these past couple months have been very difficult for me - even the past couple weeks my life has been turned upside down. I've had so many emotions run through my veins they could pop!

The feeling of being vulnerable is such a scary thing! Who wants anyone to know or see how much they are struggling? We have a pretty good game of putting on the face of happiness! People asking "How are you"- "Im doing great, thanks for asking"- Only deep down you know how much hurt is consuming your mind and body. Something that is difficult for anyone is opening up- being completely transparent. No masks to hide anything- laying it all on the table.

As this angel came to me- I let everything out, I confessed, I cried- I could hardly breath. I was at a point of complete surrender- putty in her hands. Broken. At this moment I didn’t even realize I was on my way to healing.

　

Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. James 5:16

I believe in divine appointments and God putting certain people in our lives for different seasons- this was an appointment only given to me by the mercy of God. As I sat there in my brokenness, I was embraced with so much compassion, love and tenderness. I was encouraged, prayed over and was reminded how Christ took it all for me- he wiped my slate clean! She reminded me of how I am a daughter of the most high God, how He loves me, adores me and has forgiven me.

I can’t explain what was taking place in my heart while she showered me with love. It was Christ shining right through her speaking to me. In that moment I caught a glimpse of Him- what a beautiful experience even in the midst of the heavy tears pouring out.

Since this night a weight has been lifted from my shoulders- I feel alive and I feel new. I have had so much peace about the circumstances I have been struggling with that I could care less about "worrying" about them anymore. I have wrote so much about "Trusting" God – "Laying things at His feet"- I truly believe I am at that final point where I look to the clouds- smile and know My King is holding me tight and I am now able to receive what He has in store for me. I am receiving the healing He wanted to bring me- it was through His angel that I was able to embrace it and start the journey.

I want to thank my angel- For allowing God to use her in mighty ways; always being available to be used by the King. Reflecting what the greatest commandment says- LOVE! Her heart is filled with compassion and mercy. She is one of the most beautiful women I know – inside and out! Tender in her touch even with her spicy lil attitude that keeps you on your toes! I not only consider her my friend but a sister.

Thank you my dear sweet Brenda- You are the angel sent from God- to help restore my life and receive the healing God has wanted to give me!

　

Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. John 15:13

The Road

Sometimes I feel like the Lord strips us of everything to lead us in a different direction. Right now I feel like I am losing what I have been comfortable with - only for Him to restore & lead me down another path. I think we all can agree going down a road with no signs is a scary thing and there is always fear of not knowing what tomorrow will bring. I think about something a girl from my bible study said…. "God tells us to pray for our daily bread for Today, not for tomorrow- yet we are always so focused on tomorrow we forget about today." How true is this!

　

I’m at a place where the only thing I can do is throw up my hands & say "Lord I trust you!" One of the most difficult things is realizing God has a plan for each one of our lives and allowing Him the opportunity to reign over all of it. We always seem to have our own motives and desires but that doesn’t matter because this life was never about fulfilling our needs but what we can do to further the Kingdom of Heaven! Sure- we love to kick & scream on the way but when we realize the end of the story, how glorious does it always end up? So why do we fight along the way?

　

Something I have felt comfort in is The Holy Spirit! I know for many of us we don’t know much about Him and the church is prone to talking more about God the Father- Jesus the Son; but what about The Holy Spirit?

　

But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.

~ John 14:26

　

I have grown so much in The Spirit and it has brought a new light into my life! It’s like realizing something that has been with me all along yet I have been so blind to truly see it and reach out to it! Lately I feel like I don’t even know how to pray in the midst of the craziness but something I realized is in those times The Spirit is praying for me!!

　

And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will.

~Romans 8:26-28

　

I love the last part- "God’s own will." I can try to plan my future but ultimately God has a plan for my life; He had a destiny for me long before I was born. Through the suffering I endure God has something so glorious in store for me! I cried like crazy the other night while I was praying "Your will be done Lord!" In the midst of this tuff time I am experiencing it’s insane how many people have reached out to me saying how much I have encouraged them in their faith! Through my pain it has brought glory to the King.

　

Instead, be very glad—for these trials make you partners with Christ in his suffering, so that you will have the wonderful joy of seeing his glory when it is revealed to all the world.

~ 1 Peter 4:13

　

I don’t know God’s will for my life or why He is taking me through this time but everything in my heart is leaning on the promises of God. He has never failed me before so why would He now? I have comfort knowing that in my weak moments when I have no words to speak, The Spirit is interceding for me and that is all I can ask for! I will never understand God or His master plan for my life but as long as I bring glory to His name- Well…. That’s all I can ask for!

The best part- I have 3 people all in 1 who watch over me- God the Father- Jesus the Son- and The magnificent Holy Spirit!

In Your Hands

How do you hold onto something that was never yours to begin with? What does it look like to fully surrender?

　

"Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from me; nevertheless not my will, but Yours, be done." Luke 22:42

I have strong moments when I am confident knowing I am laying everything at my Fathers feet then the next day my heart breaks and I ask God "How about I just take it back". Why is the hardest thing in life to Trust God? I just don’t understand…

　

Francis Chan preached "Do you believe that God loves you more than anyone else on this planet? Think about the people who love you on this earth & how much they care for you- The Creator of the universe LOVES you more than they ever could"

　

Have mercy on me, O God, because of your unfailing love. Psalm 51

　

How can I be so blind to realize God always has my best interest at heart? He continues to tell me TRUST Him although I hold tight to the problem or the situation and don’t want to let it go.

　

I can’t help but think of this poem a pastor read at service:

　

As children bring their broken toys
with tears for us to mend,
I brought my broken dreams to God
because He is my friend.
...But then instead of leaving Him
in peace to work alone,
I hung around and tried to help
with ways that were my own.
At last, I snatched them back and cried,
"How can you be so slow?"
"My child," He said, "What could I do?
You never did let go!"
-Author unknown

　

I can’t help but realize- THIS IS ME! God gives me peace through moments that are difficult and hard but then at a weak point I try to snatch it back when I just need to leave it at his feet!

I’m struggling with things in my life right now- I prayed on my way to bible study last night to really TRUST the Lord. I told Him I want to know His will for my life but right as I said that I immediately got scared! I even told God- I’m afraid to really know your will – What if that means quitting my job, moving somewhere else, ending relationships- Christ does frighten me! Right when I told Him that He told me- "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give you." I remembered hearing this verse at times in my life but I couldn’t remember the whole thing.

　

At bible study all the women shared about God and how it's so hard to really give things to Christ & TRUST Him- How He requires us to have FAITH. I shared that on my way to the study I prayed I TRUST the Lord more but how I told Him I am scared of Him- How I want to know His will but I am frightened to know what He will tell me in return.

　

When I left the study- I couldn’t get what God told me out of my mind "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give you" I wanted to know the complete verse- so I looked it up and it reads-

　

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

　

I immediately started crying- God knows my heart has been troubled this week and He told me to not be afraid! I couldn’t believe that in my honesty of telling Him- I’m scared to know Your will for my life, He was telling me "Don’t be afraid".

　

So what does my life look like today? Thankful- thankful I have a Father who LOVES me so much and is my comfort. That no matter what I face in this life He never lets me down- even through pain and suffering- He never leaves my side.

　

When doubts filled my mind, your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer. Psalm 94:19